Jon Chattman: I Challenge Brad Pitt to a Mustache Duel

Blond locks. Blue eyes. Killer abs. Hot wife. Cute kids. Decent movies. Brad Pitt had everything already, why'd he have to go and take ownership of the mustache? Sure, it's nice that the "Sexiest Man Alive" put the spotlight on the 'stache months by growing a push broom during the filming of "Inglorious Basterds," but prancing around as if he's the first man to sprout some peach cobbler above his upper lip is disgraceful. Even worse, the actor has carved his craftsmanship into a goatee recently -- just months after declaring he wanted to bring back the facial fuzz in full force. What gives, Mr. Pitt? I'll be damned if I'm going to let a Mustache-Come-Lately steal the thunder of such immortal mustachioed gods like Tom Skerritt, The Iron Sheik, and Mike Ditka (Someone get those three guys in a room together and see what happens). So I'm challenging Mr. Sexy to a "Stache-Off:" three rounds mano-e-mano "Zoolander" catwalk style -- "duplicate and elaborate" -- but without the smirks and tight pants ... (link)