Matthew Filipowicz: Holiday Songs for Scientologists

So, the holidays are fast approaching. And as a secular progressive, I am up in arms and ready for battle in the War on Christmas. I have a full battalion ready to storm Bill O'Reilly's mansion at dawn. This is war after all. Despite his well documented "holiday" hypocrisy, like the Parade Holiday Quiz , and Holiday Reading List , Bill has set up a Christmas store with a bunch of great items, such as the "F*ck It, We'll Do It Live!" Coffee Mug. And a loofah sponge shaped like a Christmas tree. But, no matter what Bill tells you , Christmas isn't just about war and buying things. No, the holiday season is a time where all of us come together and pretend we don't hate each other, if only for a day or two. Now, there's Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa, but being a secular progressive, I want everyone to be included in the forced holiday cheer. And I got to thinking, why aren't there holiday songs for Scientologists? Don't they deserve to be miserable like everyone ... (link)