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LIES, BROKEN HOMES, AND UNSPOKEN HATREDS... MUST BE A CHRISTMAS COMEDY!
Some movies could be very good, except for a single flaw that dooms the whole production to failure. Four Christmases isn't one of them, but it's a very close cousin: though it could never, in its current state, be a very good film, there's an obviously good film lying just under the surface, ...
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DECEMBER 2008 MOVIE PREVIEW
And thus ends the most boring Oscar season in recent memory, along with - if I may be so bold - one of the worst years for movies of the current decade. I shan't belabor things. 5.12.2008 And hspeaking of boring Oscarbait: Ron Howard's version of the genuinely good play Frost/Nixon! (Only in ...
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GOBBLES!
To my American readers, I wish you a very happy Thanksgiving, and to everyone, I'll be back Sunday evening. Have a great holiday weekend.
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 IT SUCKS AND BITES
IT SUCKS AND BITES
I am being perfectly sincere when I claim that Stephenie Meyer's Twilight is the worst book I've ever read all the way through (there are at least a couple of worse novels that I abandoned early on). It has a perfect combination of dreadful prosody, ...
THE DOG DAYS OF DISNEY 2
Pixar Animation Studios and the Walt Disney Company have had a robust and highly profitable relationship for well over a decade now (Toy Story just celebrated its thirteenth birthday last week - it can't possibly be that long, can it?), and in that time the House That Walt Built has sunk to ...
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WHERE THE LOVE-LIGHT GLEAMS
One of my favorite lines from the ever-quotable Casablanca goes like this: the sniveling Ugarte, played by Peter Lorre, is trying to wheedle a favor from Humphrey Bogart's Rick, and he opens by counter-intuitively asking, "You despise me, don't you?" To which Rick replies, without looking up, ...
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TSPDT #620: SPRING IN A SMALL TOWN
And now the latest in my irregular series: Man, Communist Governments Hate Good Movies. For a very brief span of time following the end of World War II, China enjoyed a cinematic golden age; like so many countries that got heavily dicked-over by the biggest combatants (and it's arguable, I ...
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AN ACTION STAR WALKS INTO A BANK...
Jean-Claude Van Damme. I expect that's not a name you've heard in a while. One of the world's foremost action stars in the late '80s and early '90s, thanks to films like Kickboxer and Universal Soldier, the actor's fortunes took a sudden, sharp turn for the worse sometime around the release of ...
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SPRING, SUMMER, FALL, WINTER, AND SPRING
In 1994, Wong Kar-Wai made a film called Ashes of Time: a movie of much greater budget than he'd ever been given before, in a genre (wuxia, martial arts) previously unknown to him, with a cast comprising some of the biggest names in Hong Kong cinema at the time. The project became an infamous ...
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ON GRIEF
I've never had such a hard time figuring out how to even approach reviewing a movie as I'm having with the documentary Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father. It would be easy if I weren't wholly impressed with what I'd unreservedly praise as the most emotionally powerful film of 2008, ...
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THE LONG NIGHT OF THE SOULLESS
Swedish vampires! What won't they think of next? Actually, though it sounds weird the first time you hear it, it's no stranger than putting vampires in New York or the Louisiana bayou; at least Scandinavia is part of Europe, where the folklore of nosferatu-like vampires originated. Besides ...
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THE ABC'S OF BAD MOVIES
Everyone else seems to be doing the ABC Meme from Blog Cabins, and we've officially hit the "I'm tagging everyone who reads this" phase of the meme. So even though I'm not usually one for this kind of thing, I've decided to give in to peer pressure. A quick reminder of the rules:1. Pick one ...
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TSPDT #212: THE STORY OF THE LATE CHRYSANTHEMUMS
I have previously spoken about Mizoguchi Kenji, sort of the "middle child" of the three canonically great Japanese directors* (Ozu Yasujiro started around the same time, but had major hits earlier; Kurosawa Akira came along a good while later), currently doomed to being the least-known of them; ...
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QUANTUM INTERFERENCE
I like the Jason Bourne movies quite a lot. They're probably the most interesting and innovative things going in action movies these days. But if I want to watch a Bourne movie, it's pretty easy for me to do so - I don't need to have people cropping up making fake Bourne movies all over the ...
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IF HE COULD HAVE KNOWN THAT HE WAS AN ORPHAN, PERHAPS HE WOULD HAVE CRIED THE LOUDER
The career of Danny Boyle has gone more places than just about any other modern filmmaker I can think of: from the drug caper Trainspotting to the gory and grim horror experiment 28 Days Later; from the philosophically overburdened adventure film The Beach to the sweet family comedy Millions; ...
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BOY IN A BUBBLE
I'm going to be generous and assume that the creators of The Boy in the Striped Pajamas didn't their film to end up as contemptible awards-bait, but it did anyway, the kind of sanctimoniously somber Very Important Motion Picture that shamelessly manipulates the audience into believing that if ...
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CHILDREN OF MEN
Comedy being notoriously subjective, I can't just up and say, "Role Models is really funny and for that reason you should go see it," even though it is really funny, and you should go see it. Fortunately, there is a lazy yardstick I can use: if you, like me, think that Paul Rudd is one of the ...
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SASSY TALKING ANIMALS, PART XLVIII
So, like a clockwork plague, the year's second DreamWorks Animation feature has stumbled into theaters, and while this summer's Kung Fu Panda was a shockingly decent effort for the typically underwhelming studio, I'm sad but totally unsurprised to announce that the resolutely unneeded sequel ...
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TSPDT #263: ZERO FOR CONDUCT
Complaining "this film suffers from too much ambition" isn't something you get to do very often, but it's still a fairly easy and facile criticism. But occasionally, it just fits perfectly, and if ever I've seen a film that seems, objectively, to be the poster child for movies that are being ...
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TSPDT #163: DON'T LOOK NOW
The third feature by director Nicolas Roeg, Don't Look Now is an extraordinarily peculiar horror film, not least because it doesn't really act like a horror film for something like 100 of its 110 minutes. For the most part, it's an atmospheric mystery cooking along at a low simmer, tremendously ...
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