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http://www.candykirby.com/ - Humor columnist musing about news, life and, most importantly, the inexplicable appeal of coleslaw.
Just in time for hurricane season!
CANDY’S EVACUATION CHECKLIST:
Battery-powered radio? Check.
Flashlight? Check.
Emergency blanket? Check.
Bottled water? Check.
Calf-enhancing stiletto flippers* to catch eye of sexy Disaster Assistance team member? Check, check ...
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Celebrities
LEFT: Pop rapper Lil Mama at Conde Nast’s “Fashion Rocks” event in NYC
RIGHT: Nonsense poet (which, some would say, also qualifies him as a “pop rapper”) Mad Hatter at a tea party in Wonderland
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Celebrities
Lil Mama
You know, it’s refreshing to see a celebrity make her own clothes rather than take a hand-out from a designer. It really is. And Solange apparently made hers at the Arts & Crafts Fair’s roadkill booth in Desperate City, NY:
Now I know what I can do with that extra ...
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Celebrities
Solange Knowles
In perhaps the biggest journalistic scoop since Vogue blew the lid off the secret to smoky eyes , MSN has gotten its sneaky li’l hands on a video of Britney Spears — GASP! — rehearsing for, well, some thing.
Britney’s Back!
Could it be for her big VMAs ...
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Celebrities
Britney Spears
Video Music Awards
It’s a Guide-Off! LEFT: Nick Cannon guiding Mimi
to an ATM machine, er… car… in NYC RIGHT:
Tom Cruise guiding Kat(i)e Holmes to a tune-up, er… car… in NYC
CANDY: Thanks for joining me. I’ve been playing
phone tag with your publicist for weeks – NIC
CAGE’S HAIR: Is there somethin’ wrong? CANDY: No! No, of course not. Why do you – NIC CAGE’S HAIR: Then why ...
Deep Thoughts by Lindsay :
“Now will you bloggers please stop calling us ‘ BFF ‘?”
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Celebrities
Lindsay Lohan
Samantha Ronson
After the Drudge Report claimed Oprah Winfrey ’s staff was divided over whether to have Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin on her show, the heavens parted and Oprah spoke (via TMZ):
“At the beginning of this presidential campaign when I decided that I was going ...
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Celebrities
Oprah Winfrey
Kirsten Dunst has douchy screenwriter banned from set of his movie, appropriately called “How to Lose Friends & Alienate People.” [ Lainey ]
WWLD (What Would the Lohans Do?): Lily Allen blogs about her “feud” with Elton John . [ Seriously? OMG! ]
Victoria ...
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Celebrities
Oprah Winfrey
Kirsten Dunst
Lily Allen
Elton John
Victoria Beckham
Um, Merry Christmas, everyone?
I’ve gotta say, Mary looks nothing like her portraits.
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Celebrities
Hey, Diddy! How many times have you kissed the mirror in the last minute?
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Celebrities
Puff Daddy
Understanding he must pounce on the muff while he can still use his “Hey, wanna see my eight gold medals?” line — and proving what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay there — Michael Phelps was spotted working his dolphin magic on the Playboy Club wait staff ...
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Celebrities
Yeah, I guess when you find Marilyn Manson crawling on top of you every night, you become desensitized to these kinds of things.
From the Venice Film Festival premiere of “Rachel Getting Married”:
[ Photos via CelebWarship ]
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Celebrities
Marilyn Manson
Evan Rachel Wood
Mickey Rourke
Nelly
Oh, hell no.
Only in this installment, the Ghostbusters fight the paranormal with their oxygen tanks and PoliGrip instead of proton packs !
“Who you gonna call? Geriatricbusters!”
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Celebrities
Ghostbusters
Shredded lettuce; crickets; freeze-dried Tubifex worms ; Hikari Turtle Food Sticks ; Armand de Brignac’s “Ace of Spades” Brut Rosé Champagne
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Celebrities
Jay-Z
As legions of celebrities mindlessly hop on-board the trendy “go green” bandwagon, hugely talented reality star Kim Kardashian is bravely forging a path as a leader, not a follower, with some decidedly anti-environmental plans.
Kim told the “Yo on E!” satellite radio ...
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Celebrities
Kim Kardashian
Khloe Kardashian
We all need guidance in our life sometimes.
We may seek it from friends, family, therapists, a
higher being — and yet, the most powerful insight often comes from an unexpected source: Bai Ling . Which is why I publish this column with pearls of ...
From Lynne’s touching memoir , Through The Storm: A Real Tale Of Fame And Family In A Tabloid World …
Break out your pen and pad, parents! Here’s how to raise your child, Spears-style:
1. Allow your child to start drinking at age 13 — no biggie, as long as ...
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Celebrities
Britney Spears
Justin Timberlake
Anderson Cooper likes ‘em cheap and easy. [ Dlisted ]
Usher and his wife reportedly having another baby, reportedly separating. In other words, all is well! [ Evil Beet ]
Jennifer Aniston having a grand ol’ time stalking Alec Baldwin. [ Lainey ]
Jennie Garth ’s ...
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Celebrities
Anderson Cooper
Usher
Jennifer Aniston
Alec Baldwin
Jennie Garth
1. It is giving me Hannibal Lecter-type thoughts about her tongue;
2. A can of Fanta has never been that close to real fruit;
3. Everyone knows fresh strawberry season ends in July ;
4. Confusing for vegetarian audience: while cannibalism is typically eschewed by non-meat eaters, is a ...
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Who Did It Better: Nick Cannon or Tom Cruise