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Little Melissa comes home from 1st grade & tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day.
‘Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint, and we’re Jewish,’ she asks, ‘Will God get mad at me for giving someone a ...
Celebrities
Valentine's Day
The Super Bowl is going to run what, four hours, say? That’s 14440 seconds. That means you could watch my alternative: Barefoot Bill’s Naked Guy Zombie Movie about 145 times in the same stretch. Fuck that Super Bowl. Tom Brady rules. And fuck Peyton Manning’s stupid ...
Celebrities
The Super Bowl
OK – since this is our 5th year anniversary, we are doing some new features. And also (at least based on this) resurrecting things we forgot about. So here comes the comment of the week! If you want to nominate someone for this coming week or something, I guess you can. Maybe I will ...
Celebrities
L0ts of critics and people who spend too much time thinking about music say that Beck is a genius. I assume it’s just because of this video. In fact, here is what I know about Beck.
This video rules.
I once knew someone who thought the lyric “Two turntables with a microphone” ...
Celebrities
Beck
Questlove, the drummer for Jimmy Fallon’s band the Roots took this picture and put it on Twitter. I’m going to forego all the outrage and the jokes based on said outrage. I’m also going to avoid posing the potentially incendiary theory that the menu could be considered by ...
Celebrities
I woke up to ice and snow today and it is beeeeeyewteeful! But! I have to go to work and driving in it and walking in it makes me less happy. So I cranked the heat to 83 and put on my bikini. This really isn’t working for me. I wonder if I would appreciate [...]
Celebrities
A five year old told his teacher he’d found a cat but it was dead. “How do you know the cat was dead?” she asked him. “Because I pissed in his ear and it didn’t move,” the child answered innocently. “You did what?” the teacher exclaimed in ...
Celebrities
Actually, I don’t think it stands for that. But I do know that the following PMS amusingness was gathered from across the Internets by a loyal reader and given to me so I could wreck it. But I don’t think I wrecked it. I even included the original joke, which was probably original ...
Celebrities
Yet again/still, I am sick and taking raw meth by the handful. However pesky immune systems are, I rather wish I had one. So it may be because I am slightly stoned or perhaps because I am really really immature, but most of these made me laugh a lot today. And the bird one–TRUTH! Those ...
Celebrities
I got this email the other day and while I know it is like, partisan stuff (on the Republican Whip’s Channel) but I can’t decide whether or not it’s an outrage or a big fat taste of parliamentary awesomeness. The dude acting as speaker is John Murtha from PA who got the ...
Celebrities
There are days my job gets me bummed, sure. I don’t get paid enough for the shit I have to do and tolerate, my co-workers are being raging cunts or it’s raining. You know: normal every day gripes. I really think I should get the day off if it’s raining, though, seriously. ...
Celebrities
I was gonna let the Grammys go by unremarked because I am sure none of you really care for my take on awards shows (especially the Grammys!) but the duet between Stevie Nicks and Taylor Swift was so absolutely cringe-worthy, I had to say something. Plus, I have people over for a Grammys party ...
Celebrities
Stevie Nicks
Taylor Swift
The Grammy Awards
So you may have noticed that we changed things. A lot. Like. Completely. Why? Well, this is our 5th year in business. Does it count as a business if all I do is spend money? Well, regardless, Vange and I have a lot of shit planned for you and one of them is the redesign. [...]
Celebrities
Peruse these messed up family scrapbooks and you will look more kindly upon Uncle Ted, the drunk farting uncle none of the adults will let the toddlers be alone with.
I am speechless.
Tags: funny email, funny family pictures, funny family portraits, funny picture
Celebrities
Salinger is God? The CAPITAL G GOD? Blasphemy! you say. What about Eric Clapton? I don’t know. If godishness is measured by cell phone commercials then the Clapton camp has some traction. Lots of people claim this person or that person is God. Then the pantheists will say that ...
Celebrities
Proof
Well, who else can he turn to? Frankly, Charlie Sheen would be a better one to turn to. He has fucked up in big ways so many times and it always slides right off his back. Tiger should have modeled his forgive me behavior on Charlie’s; I read the ratings on a 2 1/2 Men [...]
Celebrities
Tiger Woods
Charlie Sheen
I decided to copycat Acadia’s idea because his was just waaay too easy. If you didn’t know, I totally won it. And I did it in three clicks of Google. So let’s see how he–or any of you–do with mine.
This is also in the largest city of its state.
The city has a ...
Celebrities
I’ve been approached by no less than 48569604904797436372638349 of them already this week. And I said “NO!” to each one. Not because I’m mean, but because I don’t eat cookies. Well, and I am mean. But now I am also scared. I’m a scaredy mean chicken with ...
