Review: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
MovingPictureBlog — ... robot wants to do one thing or destroy another. The actors are… Well, they are, for the most part, upstaged by the machinery. Even so, director Michael Bay makes the most of Megan Fox as a special effect, often filming her in slow motion so that, as she and co-star Shia LaBeouf outrun explosions of various kinds, it appears two piglets are wrestling beneath her tight shirt. And if this review reads like something less than a full-throated rave, trust me, Roger Ebert was far less kind. ...

EBERT ON T’FORMERS: I THINK HE LIKED IT.
FilmDrunk.com — ... I find it amusing that creatures that can unfold out of a Camaro and stand four stories high do most of their fighting with…fists. Like I say, dumber than a box of staples. They have tiny little heads, except for Starscream®, who is so ancient he has an aluminum beard. [Sun-Times] ...

The Transformers Sequel Is Loud, Obnoxious, and Loud [Shockers]
Gawker — As it lurches toward us, metal gears clanking and whirring like Larry King at a mixer, early reviews of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen come trickling in. The word? Basically it's loud and garish and, worst of all, not fun. Take Roger Ebert's scathing review for the Chicago Sun-Times: If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination. ...

The Transformers Sequel Is Loud, Obnoxious, and Loud
Gawker: defamer — As it lurches toward us, metal gears clanking and whirring like Larry King at a mixer, early reviews of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen come trickling in. The word? Basically it's loud and garish and, worst of all, not fun. Take Roger Ebert's scathing review for the Chicago Sun-Times: If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination. ...

Michael Bay Does Serve A Purpose...
my new plaid pants — ... ... and I've finally figured out what it is! It's so Roger Ebert can write one of his deliriously fun tear-downs again! Yay! This is how it begins (with a bang and a whimper): ...

Transformers 2 is Hell, So Says Ebert
A Writer's Life — ... I love Roger Ebert's review of TRANSFORMERS 2. "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination. Not that I had any intention of seeing ...

Roger Ebert Tears Transformers 2 A New Robo-Butthole
Videogum — There's a reason he's called Roger Ebest. Read the whole thing. Here.

AICN Dedicated Talkback: TRANSFORMERS Rolls Out!!
Ain't It Cool News - The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. — ... , and watched Roger Ebert lock the film in his crosshairs HERE . Now it's your turn to tell the world what you think. What follows is a Talkback exclusively reserved for reader reactions to Mr. Bay's latest robopus. Attack, defend, or remain neutral to your heart's content. Be spirited. Be brave. Roll out!

Ebert’s rock ‘em sock ‘em Transformers review
Awards Daily — Murky and overcast with a 60% chance of shitstorm. Gotta love Roger Ebert when he’s merciless: “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close ...

Transformers ROTF Trashed By Critics
Transformers Live Action Movie Blog — ... and — at two hours and 29 minutes — far too long. Each of these creature-gizmos has a marvelous, organic fluidity — they don't just move, they clank and roll. And it was an inspired touch to set the film's most ferocious battle amid the Pyramids, featuring a Decepticon so humungous it just about waddles with power. Revenge of the Fallen may be a massive overdose of popcorn greased with motor oil. But it knows how to feed your inner 10-year-old's appetite for destruction.Roger Ebert If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, ...

Roger Ebert Saw Transformers 2
The High Definite — …and it did not go well.  An exerpt from his review site: “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your ...

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen :: rogerebert.com :: Reviews
A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago — FALLEN, INDEED: Roger Ebert did not care for the new Transformers film -- "a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments ... If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination." ...

“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” mini-box office preview
Premium Hollywood - Entertainment blog, Hollywood blog, movie blog, TV blog — ... mirrors my reaction to the first film (the part I made it through, anyway) with his comparison to “watching paint dry while getting hit over the head with a frying pan.” Roger Ebert might be a gentler soul, but he is little kinder and offers the kind of observations that make his negative reviews such fun to read: ...

Transformers Terrible Reviews Scare Us More Than Megatron
L.A. Rag Mag — ... The human actors are in a witless sitcom part of the time, and lot of the rest of their time is spent running in slo-mo away from explosions, although–hello!–you can’t outrun an explosion. They also make speeches like this one by John Turturro: “Oh, no! The machine is buried in the pyramid! If they turn it on, it will destroy the sun! Not on my watch!”-Roger Ebert ...

Why, Robot?
Thighs Wide Shut — ... ). Roger Ebert's review purty much nails a lotta our thoughts to a cross, but the new movie is a lil bit more fun than he makes it out to not be. Guess he couldn't throw an extra star in juss for the quality ...

Roger Ebert doesn't like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen!
Oh No They Didn't! — ... a spirited defense, says "this must be the most movie I have ever experienced." He is bullish on the box office: it "feels destined to be the biggest movie of all time." It’s certainly the biggest something of all time.. "If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination." source

Roger Ebert: Transformers 2 ‘a horrible experience of unbearable length’
Cele|bitchy — ... Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. - Roger Ebert, The Chicago Sun Times ...

Roger Ebert Tramples The Transformers With Delicious Glee
NPR Blogs: Monkey See — ... This time, what's ricocheting around the Internet is his takedown of Michael Bay's Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen. Here's how it starts: ...

shit
Thepunkguy — ... b. Seriously, Roger Ebert fucking kills Transformers II HERE. This is one of my favorite quotes from the review ” If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination. ” ...

Transformers 2 Movie Reviews: It Sucks!
poponthepop.com — ... Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. - Roger Ebert, The Chicago Sun Times ...

Ebert’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Review Pulls No Punches
Film Junk — ... ), in this case, he is absolutely merciless in his destruction of Transformers 2. This is must-read material . Some choice quotes:“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments.” “The plot is incomprehensible. The dialog of the Autobots, Deceptibots and Otherbots is meaningless word flap. Their accents are Brooklyese, British and hip-hop, as befits a race from the distant stars. Their appearance looks like junkyard throw-up.” “The battle scenes are bewildering. A Bot makes no visual sense ...

Does TRANSFORMERS Open Today?
The Moviezzz Blog — ... think this has more to do with my local paper than it does with the movie. While the movie company may not be advertising, my paper is essentially on life support. I don't know if it will be around the rest of the year. Other than Fridays when they run some reviews, the entertainment page is non-existent. Still, for someone in my area who relied on the paper to know what is opening, they wouldn't know that Michael Bay's latest opus is in theatres. According to the reviews, maybe that is a good thing. ...

ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO SQUINT: TRANSFORMERS REVIEWS, OSCAR x 10 and FINCHER'S FACEBOOK
Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule — ... David Hudson gathers lots more reviews together here, like Roger Ebert’s, which I haven’t had time to check out yet. (Ebert starts off with this paragraph: “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close ...

Wednesday Update
Monster Rally — ... Movies... Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen @ Roger Ebert Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen -- Heavy on Explosives, Light on Smarts @ film.com > The Reject Report Experiences The Revenge of the Fallen > > AICN's Quint on Transformers 2 which Harry thinks is "foul mouthed, racist & misogynistic!" (and too long) Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen @ The Trades > From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman's Daughter @ Horror Movie A ...

Poll: 'Transformers 2' Opens Big - How Much Will It Make?
Cinematical — If you don't know your Megatron from your Optimus Prime, join the club! Most giant robots look all the same to me, and the first Transformers movie felt like a comedown for Michael Bay after the gleeful insanity of Bad Boys II. Still, I've gotten a kick out ot reading a few of the reviews, like the one penned by our own Todd Gilchrist, as well as the harsh critical takedowns by Roger Ebert and Manohla Dargis. And now I'm wondering how Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen will perform at the box ...

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Rakes In Huge Bucks
Evil Beet Gossip — ... it’s not a movie I want to stand on as far as acting ability goes. I mean, I’m not going to win an Oscar anytime soon. I’m not Meryl Streep.”  I guess what I want to know is this:  Did anyone see this movie yet, and is she any better than the first Transformers?  Also, if anyone has a general movie review to offer, I’d be interested.  I’ve heard everything from “does live up to the hype, ” to “a horrible experience of unbearable length.”

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Rakes In Huge Bucks
Evil Beet Gossip — ... it’s not a movie I want to stand on as far as acting ability goes. I mean, I’m not going to win an Oscar anytime soon. I’m not Meryl Streep.”  I guess what I want to know is this:  Did anyone see this movie yet, and is she any better than the first Transformers?  Also, if anyone has a general movie review to offer, I’d be interested.  I’ve heard everything from “does live up to the hype, ” to “a horrible experience of unbearable length.”

Transformers 2 Reviews
FilmoFilia — ... of the rest of their time is spent running in slo-mo away from explosions, although–hello!–you can’t outrun an explosion. They also make speeches like this one by John Turturro: “Oh, no! The machine is buried in the pyramid! If they turn it on, it will destroy the sun! Not on my watch!” The humans, including lots of U.S. troops, shoot at the Transformers a lot, although never in the history of science fiction has an alien been harmed by gunfire… [Roger Ebert-SunTimes] ...

Transformers Breaks Box Office Record With $60.6 Million; God Sheds Single, Lingering Tear
Best Week Ever — ... short of The Dark Knight's all-time opening night record. Because I haven't seen the movie yet, I will leave the reviewing of the film to this GChat conversation with my friend Steve, who went to the midnight opening and spent about an hour the next morning trying to convey the enormity of the film's sucking. Enjoy: me: how was the movie Steven: horrible it felt so long and that john turturro line IS in it [Steve is referring to the Roger Ebert review, which points out the John Turturro line "Oh, no! The ...

Film: Newswire: Revenge of Michael Bay: Transformers sequel has record-breaking opening
A.V. Club — Though it's garnered some of the most savage reviews of the year, the summer blockbuster Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen is already a runaway hit, notching $60.6 million on its opening day, beating the previous Wednesday record (held by Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix) by over $16 million. Speculation on what this says about the state of popular culture begins in five, four, three.... ...

Loud, Dumb, And Full Of Fun: Exploding Escapism
Cinema Blend News — Loud, Dumb, And Full Of Fun: Exploding Escapism Apparently, Transformers 2 is loud, dumb, stupid and possibly even downright terrible, if you're talking to Roger Ebert at least. The second installment of Michael Bay's robot franchise made about a bazillion dollars yesterday, and if the box office totals are any indication of what's to come, it should easily outpace Wolverine as the biggest domestic movie of the year. The divide between critical reception and commercial profitability has always and will always exist, of course, at least in a Capitalist society fixated on ...

Roger Ebert really (really) hates the new 'Transformers' movie
PopWatch — ... of North in 1994? "I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it." Good times.) The latest target of his wrath? Just the biggest 'buster on the block right now -- Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen . His official review on Tuesday was nothing short of withering. (Just a taste: He says the robots look like "junkyard throw-up.") That obviously wasn't enough for him. He returned a day later with an ...

Trailer Park: “Cheri,” “Transformers 2,” “The Hurt Locker,” “My Sister’s Keeper”
The Frisky — ... I’m allowed to say WTF is this crap? I know we’ve exhausted every other childhood fascination already and there needs to be something for jocks to get off on, but can’t they hire some decent writers and pretend there’s going to be a plotline? As Roger Ebert says, “If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.” [ Sun Times ] The Movie:“The Hurt Locker” The Trailer Hitch: Director Kathryn Bigelow of “Point ...

Best Transformers 2 Review
Sex In A Submarine — I haven't seen it, and it seems like my boycott thing was a complete failure. The reviews - like Ebert's hysterical piece and his blog entry on how TRANSFORMERS 2 signals the end of the world, are great reading - funnier than most movies - but this review will save you having to ever see the movie... TOPLESS ROBOT! Enjoy. - Bill ...

Roger Ebert Rebukes Transformers 2 Fans
Transformers Live Action Movie Blog — Robert Ebert is one of many critics that disliked the movie but his review was one of the most vicious. He hated the movie on a fundamental level, liking nothing about it. His review is essentially a series of insults that comes down to a crappy plot with stupid characters and loud confusing visuals that lasted too long. Only he didn't put it in such simple terms. Personally I just thought he clearly isn't the audience for this movie (much older males) and his review very clearly reflected that. I think ...

Roger Ebert Schools The Transformers 2 Fans
Cinema Blend News — Roger Ebert Schools The Transformers 2 Fans Roger Ebert was certainly not the only critic to trash Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen , but he might have been the most influential. So when readers responded to his hilariously negative review, they responded in full-force. And Ebert, never one to keep his opinion to himself, responded right back. His piece, entitled ...

How Far is Too Far When Characterizing a Film's Intended or Actual Audience?
RopeofSilicon.com — ... Both Ebert's and my comments are opinions based on what we believe the film is saying of its audience. Keep in mind I have never met anyone that sits at home staring at blinking lights and when Ebert made known his thoughts of Transformers 2 fans he was again making that statement based on not only what the film was telling him of its audience, but comments weighed against his review. Such as the one he started his blog post with: ...