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In Case You Missed It (Like Me): The Oscars!
Evil Beet Gossip — Hello. So, I have been transported to my father’s house, where, if and when I die of this cholera, at least my body will be discovered promptly. I was forcibly removed from my bed and dragged in front of a TV, where I was made to eat salmon, but successfully resisted consumption of the single piece of broccoli placed on my plate (”For,” explained my father, “presentation value,” and I expressed my gratitude at his decision to use my final moments on earth to perfect his Top Chef audition.) I survived from about Best Supporting Actor to Best Actress, which I consider quite a run for someone with late-stage cholera, and then I had to go back to bed. Luckily, the ...